There's that old phrase that happiness is a journey, not a destination. It's a state of being, a fleeting emotion. We each have our own unique flavor of happiness, but modern life is about efficiency, reproducible results, one-size fits all. It's led us to seek happiness from external sources like consumption and entertainment, that happiness is our every waking desire being met immediately. We've commodified happiness in these externalities.

What's helped me is to view my life as a garden, crafted to grow what makes me happy. Thoughtfulness, constant learning, whimsy, and slowness are some of the aspects of life that make me happy. These aren't things I do, not something I can buy, these are aspects that I find bring more happiness into my life.

Now, it's my duty to nurture these aspects of life that bring me happiness. I nurture thoughtfulness by protecting time for me to think uninterrupted and reducing compulsivity to respond to everything. I nurture constant learning by ensuring my learning is fueled by curiosity, not this anxiety of self-improvement, and that growth is expansive, not corrective. I nurture whimsy by being a little unnecessary and slightly impractical (hand-writing in a journal rather than in an app, taking small walks through a new place, not focusing on efficiency in everything). And I nurture slowness by designing friction into my life. Using analog tools, longer timelines, giving myself space to breathe through things. I schedule in slowness otherwise it gets crowded out by everything else going on.

I think you may enjoy taking some time to think about what aspects of life you appreciate and bring you happiness, find out how to nurture those aspects, and then craft your life around that. It could shed some light or help bring into perspective what your next steps should be.

I think it's key to think about what makes you happy and interested in your work, and then find a way to map from your current position to a new position where you can do more of that.

If you're ever unsure or worried about making a move, remember that life is fluid, things change, doors open and close all the time. Taking a step forward into the unknown will light the path to the next step, but taking that first step requires accepting some uncertainty and trusting it will work out anyway.

Your workday isn’t a monolith; it is a series of tiny tasks. Try deconstructing your job to identify intrinsic motivation.

Which micro-tasks do you look forward to? Which raise questions you think about and work on in your free time?

Which tasks do you avoid, put off, or find immediately draining?

If you can’t identify interesting tasks, you are likely looking at too high a level of abstraction. Break “working with clients” down until you find the specific unit of work (e.g., “debugging edge cases” vs. “proofreading emails”) that sparks interest.

After sorting tasks into intrinsically motivating or not, look for a role that involves about 20% more time on the interesting micro-tasks and 20% less on the boring ones. If you do this every few years, you drift toward a career you enjoy without needing a radical “reset.”

This approach led me down an unexpected path: law firm attorney -> government attorney -> regulatory consultant -> small-business operator. Now, I am looking at moving to a role that involves at least 20% more time on software development (intrinsically interesting to me) and 20% less time chasing unreliable people (particularly draining to me). I never set out to change my “identity,” but focusing on the micro-tasks I actually enjoy has allowed me to engineer a career I enjoy on a day-to-day basis.

I, for one, don't even know anymore. I used to quite enjoy the art of coding and "big picture thinking", for lack of a better description. But now LLMs do the former and everyone and their brother are clamouring to do the latter as they see it as the only way to remain relevant in the software industry, leaving it to be a competition that is not fun to participate in.

Collecting the paycheck, I guess?

If one is of verge of depression (or similar stuff) then removing routines in your life is in general not going to fix things, but make things worse.

A long vacation or unpaid leave, sure. But quitting work without a concrete plan to return and definite exit point feels dangerous. If one isn't in the right place mentally suddenly you are just stuck at home watching Netflix in a downward spiral, instead of all those exciting things you planned on doing but somehow don't end up doing.

I remember seeing a post from someone on HN that started in this place, then did quit work for a year. It seemed quite obvious reading about that journey that attempting a "reset" just made things worse.

Personally, in between jobs a long time ago, I chose to walk the Henro Trail, an approximately 800-mile Buddhist pilgrimage trail in Shikoku, Japan. To make a long story short, it was the experience of a lifetime.

There is a wonderful book, Japanese Pilgrimage by Oliver Statler. He goes into the history of the pilgrimage and of Kobo Daishi, the monk whose path the trail follows. He also discusses his own personal experience walking the trail.

I thing, like another guy said, teaching might be a good way.

Also, "tech" is big. Maybe a job in industry automation might be something. You nod just see something on a screen, you can touch the result. I'm in this, it is also sometimes stressful, but also very interesting.

Like you, I was also massively burned out on tech after the pandemic. I had a very stressful work experience combined with some family medical crises. I ended up just taking some time off to do some woodworking. I understand that I was in a very privileged position to be able to do this. But after taking my mind off of daily tech worries and focusing on what I enjoyed doing, I found that my thoughts naturally gravitated back toward technology-related work. I have since come to understand that this is what burnout looks like. It’s a nice reminder that just because I hate my job right now does not mean that I want to throw in the towel forever.

Like you said, definitely privileged to be able to do this, but I also found that a lot of people hiked both the PCT and AT on a shoestring budget and made things work. Maybe not stopping in every town or not going out to eat as often. If a person is dedicated and there to get the experience, money only made it easier, but the experiences were all very much the same I found.

Agreed. I was one of those people. My budget for the entire trip, including a fair amount of equipment (I already owned boots), was $2000. This was in 2003. I worked a fairly low paid job (it was the best I could get) after college for two years in order to save up. I ended needing to dip into my credit card, which caused me a lot of stress, seeing as I did not have a job lined up after my return. The damage? $400. At the time that seemed like an unfathomable amount of debt, because I was living on very little.

My partner and I took advantage of a lot of charity on the trail (trail angels, kind strangers, etc). I would love to do something like that again (I’ve always dreamed of hiking the PCT) without such severe financial constraints. Still, there was not a lot of worrying on the trail. The stress did eventually come back after living for a couple years in Boston though!

You absolutely have to go for the PCT! They don't call it the "Goldilocks Trail" for nothing. It has it all! I live on the east coast, like you, so the AT was like hiking in my own backyard, but the PCT. Absolutely stunning! I can't recommend it enough. I hope to hike the CDT either in sections or as a thru-hike once I hit retirement age (but I have a good amount of time before that day arrives lol my memories will have to carry me until then).

Have you worked other jobs? Just curious if you're familiar with all the excellent working conditions associated with being a dev or knowledge worker. Doesnt mean you have to be a software dev but

Remote work possible, no physical constraints like (work has been shoved into my space and I have to figure out where to put it before I can continue working, kitchen, warehouse, etc.), no real injury risk, no physical exhaustion, not simply being there to react to customers literally every second of a shift, being able to manage your own time, not having your schedule posted a week at a time with zero control, little to no dress code, more likely that you can take some vacation or sick time and you dont come back to a complete mess you have to clean up before you can be productive, ability to take a break without asking permission.

I could go on-and-on.

I see stuff about becoming a teacher and it just seems insane to me. If people want to do that then great but do not be naive about what some of these other jobs entail.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8006668/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6294048/

After those forays I designed and built a trailered coffee from scratch and now I run it on a public park that overlooks the ocean.

I am more fulfilled than ever, I can pay my bills, and I get to do WAY more "real" engineering than the bureaucracy of my past life at FAANG ever allowed for.

I was terrified to do so, but the only alternative I could see at the time was killing myself if I had to continue as is (lots of mental illness prior to and greatly exacerbated by my time in tech).

It is the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken, and I do not have a big appetite for financial risk.

I don't have an answer, but just seeing this thread has been cathartic for me.

Some of the options I'm considering (all speculative):

- It's okay to be a "hired gun" and switch companies every few years just to ensure you stay interested. Some people's minds are stimulated by novelty and learning; that's not a bad thing! In fact some of the engineers I most respect work as consultants not traditional employees.

- Try working at a more "stodgy" company. Your average Fortune 500 employs more developers than most unicorns and is probably a decade behind the curve in terms of technology-- maybe you can go to one of those, take it easy, and be a hero.

- If it's an option financially, "hire yourself" for a few months to go do a passion project-- hobbyist app? major OSS improvement? creative endeavor?-- and see how it feels.

Though obviously that's easier said than done.

I do know a guy in Florida that left tech to take people on manatee tours. He says he works 5-6 hours a day and makes more than $100k a year. I went on one of his tours, it’s a nice easy job, paddling for 2-3 2 hour sessions per day in nice warm weather.

I’ve heard of people who go start a farmstead. I’m not sure I’d like it.

Some people have suggested physical work. I might also suggest introspection. What’s an activity you’ve done that really generates peace and satisfaction in you?

For some people it’s helping people. For some it’s physical activity. For some people it’s animals.

Don’t be afraid to totally turn your life on end. It’s the only one you’ve got.

If you’ve got 30 minutes, I recommend checking out the first half of this podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-detach-from-wor...

Thought I wouldn't come back for a sec. Then gradually the spark came back, I built a side project here, side project there, and ended up taking a position that paid a lot less but where the first few months I was just getting the house in order and knew exactly what to do (i.e. it wasn't challenging or at the edge of my skillset). Basically they had a mess going on and I was hired to fix it and everything was so clear to me that it just flowed. Gradually I got excited, started taking on ambitious projects inside the company that did challenge me and teach me stuff, and now I've quit to start my own company.

Basically I'm just one data point but at least for me: a) the sabbatical really helped b) I thought it'd be impossible to come back, that I'd be rusty etc but as long as you do it gradually it usually turns out ok (you have 10 years of experience in SV so you'll be fine). c) if the spark doesn't come back well then probably you've found yourself happy doing something else and that's just as good.

1) close colleagues you might not want to be vulnerable towards, or

2) people you are close to and feel vulnerable to you, but do not have similar career trajectories or experiences.

There is a reason why "communities of practice" have always existed, and HN kind-of-sort-of happens to be one.

On a more serious note, there’s nothing wrong in asking strangers something like this. Plus asking here doesn’t preclude the possibility of also asking to friends and family.

What helped wasn’t the role shift, but dialing the intensity way down. Took a year doing part-time contract work, no Jira tickets. I know a few folks who leaned into teaching, some into small business stuff—bike repair, roasting coffee, etc. None of them are making FAANG money, but they seem… less fried.

If you’ve got savings and no urgent obligations, might be worth treating this as a decompression window instead of a pivot. Let your brain deflate a bit before deciding what’s next.

That's still quite good either way, but OP should understand that even in most expensive US cities a journeyman plumber is typically pulling at most like $150k-$200k without doing significant overtime. And you won't get there until 5++ years on the job.

So think more like $100/hr of actual compensation on the higher end.

Not a bad gig at all. But that $800 number comes with a lot of caveats.

My side gig pays around that, but there aren't many hours involved it in, and there isn't a good opportunity to find more hours, so it isn't all that much money at the end of the year. It is a tidy job for the effort required, but you wouldn't want to have to live off its income.

Conquering your malaise will allow you to find joy in whatever you are doing.

The real quest is internal.

Pro audio system design and install, commercial interior design and fabrication, event production.

These pulled from skills I learned from hobbies I did to get away from programming.

I kept myself relevant by making programming the hobby I did to get away from physical work. After a couple years I got the professional programming bug back.

You definitely have other interests that can cross over into an alternate profession. And if you don't, picking up creative hobbies definitely contributes to work life balance and might prevent you from going to an extreme in the first place.

If you become medium/ok at both domains, you become a bit of a renaissance person, and hopefully excited to work on ideas and projects that bring you much joy.

Edit: Replace Art with whatever second domain might interest you.

There are a billions of options out there and you only get one life. Go try them, or even try not working. You don't have yo have a job if you don't want to. It's your life.

That depends on the financial situation which is not specified. Few people can afford to take a break from work.

Eventually I came back to tech as a contractor/consultant and like it so much more. My passion for development and engineering is much higher now.

On the other side I also know a teacher who switched to cyber security for the money after he started a family.

You have to know yourself and what motivates you to know if you'll find things more meaningful elsewhere.

Selling a product is often funner than making it. You can make TikTok and Instagram videos selling it. You can act in front of a camera, and brainstorm new and creative ways to communicate.

Nowadays, making a product can be quite boring. AI can code up most everything, better than most devs. This problem of "bored devs" is only going to get worse.

You need to be having fun! It's absolutely key. Luckily, it's the funnest time in history to start selling

Personally, I grew to hate tech, especially in SV and the Bay Area. I never minded the work itself, but what killed me was the sheer douchebaggery. It was a magnet for awful people, drawn in by the earning potential. I'm not speaking, generally, of other developers, but mostly of management, project management, etc. I even worked for a CEO who, I believe, was a literal psychopath, who felt entitled to free labor.

If I were doing it over again, with the savings I had from working on tech, I would immediately pursue whatever struck my interest. I'd get a CDL and drive trucks for a while. I would get a teaching degree and try that for a few years. If I were able-bodied, I would get a nursing degree and see how I felt about that.

I've recently started dating a nurse practitioner, and she's really opened my eyes to what's out there. Nursing is in extreme demand, similar to what I saw in tech back in the late 90s. It's taxing work (physically, mentally, and emotionally), but deeply gratifying if you're the right kind of person. It also allows for a lot of options, like working four tens or three twelves, giving a lot of flexibility for adventure on your days off. Again, if that's your thing. You can pursue a (very difficult) graduate degree and become a nurse practitioner, earning 150k - 180k in areas with far lower housing costs than the Bay Area. As it turns out, I really like being around empathetic people, and I would have been far happier in this kind of role than I ever have been slinging code for projects that will most likely disappear into the void in a few years.

The biggest problem, in my opinion, is finding out what matters to you. I don't know how to fast-track that, which is why I say to just pursue whatever strikes your interest. The worst thing you can do is be indecisive and sink into aimless depression.

Speaking of depression, consider therapy. Chances are good that you're depressed. IMO, most people would be after a decade of soulless tech work.

here my answer on similar question from ~year ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42500960 "(like, which month is now?).. outside-hamster-wheel."

i am at opposite problem of yours - i still love programming - and "growing" programmers/persons - but seems noone wants that anymore. So.. may have to find something else out of my n-th neglected hobbies..

and yes, have fun. It's all nonsense without that