Part of it is the uncomfortable fact that it is not very much fun to spend time with people who have small children -- it's hard to have a real conversation for more than a few minutes, and if you yourself don't have kids, what their life revolves around right now (daycare, finding a kindergarten, etc) is just not going to be very interesting.
> the uncomfortable fact it is not very much fun to spend time with people who have small children
This is (obviously?) not a fact. I’ve had a blast hanging out with a family in Peru for the last 24 hours. I also always have a great time when I visit my sister, her husband and their little kid.
Long conversations about interesting topics are one way to have fun. And you’re right, those don’t happen as much if you just take a child free couple, some parents and maybe kids and put them in the same room.
Bigger get togethers help a lot. One kid is a handful, but six kids of varying ages can actually be easier. You can also have fun in other ways like dancing, decorating or lighting fireworks (one activity from last night).
Kids are at least as interesting as having to take care of any other living things. As strange as it may seem, if you can ask questions about someone's multiple aquariums, their cats or dogs, their horses or cows, then there's at least, probably more to ask about their children. I don't understand how raising a child can be anything but interesting. Every parent I speak to about having kids has such different philosophies, values, goals, and they're so interesting to learn about. Once the kids can talk, they themselves have so much to say!
Raising kids has to be one of the most interesting things someone can do.
Eh, to an extent. But on any given day kids are usually in some phase where they only want to talk about dinosaurs or Micky Mouse or something. It gets repetitive after an hour.
I like playing with kids for a while but I won't pretend it is intellectually stimulating. Sometimes you can find something new to blow their mind though.
When they get to teen years they are capable of more interesting conversations but then often don't want to hang with adults. There is a pretty limited sweet spot of ages.
I’m not going to comment on whether I think you’re right or wrong, your opinion is legitimate.
But just to note that this and similar opinions in the thread confirm what I’ve experienced, both as a SINK/DINK and as a parent.
More often than not it’s the SINKs/DINKs that disappear off the face of the earth and lose interest in participating in the suddenly very different lives of their new parent friends, and not the other way around.
Imagine being in that "not very fun" zone continuously, day and night, for decades.
That's kind of what having kids is like. I love my kids and have great times with them, but there's also a lot of routine, endless cleaning and boredom.
People with kids probably wish they could have longer conversations. They'd happily talk about things other than kids. Sometimes that's possible - but it's very hard to predict when it will happen.
It's something I've observed since having kids - quite a lot of people I have adult relationships with simply have no interest in being near them. As a result, I just don't talk to them at all any more. It's a shame, but there's not really much I can do about it.
