I was in the same place and I found a solution that works for me and it almost made me totally quit Instagram (the thing that was taking my time). Set the notifications to be shown on lock screen only for critical apps (phone, sms, etc) and configure the others to just show badge counters. Now, at this point you have red bubbles everywhere, for this issue (on iOS, but I'm sure it's a solution for Android too) you apply a shade for all the app icons. It's a feature that came with iOS 18. Even if this seems small, the fact that you don't see them all in red, makes a huge difference. Now, I only look when I want to look.