This attitude is a large part of what I find so repulsive about tech today. You are a guest on my machine. No matter how much you think you know better than me (even if you're right!), you don't get to make decisions like that. You can ask nicely, and if you can convince me that something needs to be done, I will decide to do it.
That being said, I really like VS Code's approach of having auto-updates enabled by default, but making a switch to turn off the feature available for nerds like us who care.
Practically speaking, we have the choices that one monopoly or another offers us, and only so long as those choices are convenient for them.
I do avoid corporate overreach where it's practical (I have a dumb TV/vehicle/appliances/etc), but there will come a day when it's impossible to participate in society without giving in.
I'm happy enough with my life. But yours seems like a very ... I don't know, defeatist? point of view.
You make it sound like I can either have the stunted over commercialized shovelware thats on offer or I can choose to go live in a hut in the woods. Where's the middleground where we put a little market pressure on our corporate overlords so they make better widgets?