I had strong convictions about the things I would be doing and achieving in my 40s. The responsibilities that I actually had in my life were in direct conflict with that though. Initially I tried to do it all and just felt like a failure on all fronts. It wasn't until I accepted that I had way less control in life than I imagined that I was able to let go of the things I thought I should be doing and instead embrace and enjoy the things I needed to be doing.