IMHO there's a level of understanding beyond this, which might be called grace. I identify as a lifelong failure, but I no longer place blame on specifics like addiction or body weight or relationship issues. The truth of my existence is that the world is really messed up, but also beautiful despite the dysfunction. And I'm grateful for the adversity which woke me out of the fantasies which distracted me throughout so much of my life and added to the suffering of others.
Loosely that means that every time I took a drink, there was a reason, like maybe I was lonely because I was rejected by someone. Maybe I was fat because I was too broke to take care of myself. Maybe I was mean to my partners because I was projecting my own frustrations.
Now I look at life more like a game. I'm drawn to fringe ideas and projects with an overwhelming likelihood of failure. I've been through the ringer so many times that I'm more of a loosely held together hodgepodge of components than a coherent identity. But I keep showing up. I'm hardened from adversity but I've alchemized that into softness and an infinite well of empathy for others struggling with the human condition. I cheer inside when the meekest among us speak truth to power. I live in service to others now, who are an aspect of myself.
This ideology takes a good idea and pushes it too far. There isn’t a lot of value in seriously considering oneself as a “failure”, and rarely is it actually true.
Perspective to recognize the lack of any such way to measure outcomes so booleanly is probably more valuable than choosing to adopt failure as your default state.
Loosely that means that every time I took a drink, there was a reason, like maybe I was lonely because I was rejected by someone. Maybe I was fat because I was too broke to take care of myself. Maybe I was mean to my partners because I was projecting my own frustrations.
Now I look at life more like a game. I'm drawn to fringe ideas and projects with an overwhelming likelihood of failure. I've been through the ringer so many times that I'm more of a loosely held together hodgepodge of components than a coherent identity. But I keep showing up. I'm hardened from adversity but I've alchemized that into softness and an infinite well of empathy for others struggling with the human condition. I cheer inside when the meekest among us speak truth to power. I live in service to others now, who are an aspect of myself.