As mentioned before - don't burn bridges. People who you were working with might become your business partners one way or the other in the future. Embrace this situation as a lesson learnt. It will make you more aware and stronger. Take care.

Work has always been a means to support my own personal projects, and I've never felt any kind of investment in the work, the company, or colleagues. Additionally the only things to me that are tangible takeaways, you get to keep even if you are no longer at the company:

- domain knowledge such as tech stacks

- meaningful friendships

how can that lead to meaningful friendships?

You are angry and are still emotionally processing and reacting to what has happened to you. Your mind is focused on looking backwards and stuck thinking about your former employer.

For me, what helped was: talking to the other people in your life - your friends and family, ideally in person. Get plenty of exercise and sunlight. Take a break from the screen and social media.

When you have had enough time and space to mentally reset, you may find that you're not thinking about your former job or former managers any more. Instead you'll be thinking about what you are doing in the moment, or what you would like to do next - and that mode of thinking will be much more interesting, and positive, and productive for you.

If in the short term you need to keep the income flowing in, to support yourself or your family, consider looking for a next job that may not be your dream job, but pays well enough, and is one that you don't keep thinking about when you clock off work. After a bad job, a new job with no mental/emotional/political baggage can feel somewhat like a holiday.

Once your short-term financial situation is stable, and your mind has settled down and can think about your future rather than being fixed looking back, it could be a good time to start thinking about and working toward a longer term goal - a goal of your own, not the goals of your employers.

You feel betrayed. They set you up with an expectation of emotional safety and then used it against you. That’s messed up. I’d be angry too, and I have been angry in similar situations.

I’ve learned a couple lessons over the years:

1. Most people in a transactional setting like business are not honest. They might claim to be supportive, understanding, etc., but when you lean on them to do so, they’re not. If a transaction is taking place conditioned on something like you performing a job, then you probably aren’t going to get unconditional support in return.

2. It’s not worth burning bridges. Not because these people will spread gossip about you or reconnect with you down the line, but because it’s a distraction from moving forward. The best way to let go of an experience like this is to get involved with a new experience. Vent any emotion first and then dive into something new. A new project, a new programming language, a new job, etc.

3. Use this experience as one of your super powers. You’re not the first to be treated this way and you won’t be the last. You now have the unique perspective of being able to empathize with others going through a situation like this. And you’ll be able to recognize in yourself if you start to go down the path of treating someone this way.

The ones that you want to stay connected to will reach out in time. But if no one does then lucky you for not having wasted more time with people who treat others this way.

I’m sorry you had this experience, but thanks for sharing and reaching out. And good luck with whatever lies ahead.

As far as the abrupt dismissal and not being able to say goodbye, I think that is a reasonable stance for a company to take. Anecdotally from my past experience with an employee that quit and gave two weeks notice, it was a horrible two weeks for everyone and after them I just told future people who gave notice to not worry and paid them out as if they worked it.

On a more positive note, I would also say that burned bridges are not that big of deal, I have checked with past employers about potential hires that said awful things but still hired them. If you know your stuff, show up for work and don't have a bunch of personal crisis that will affect the business plenty of companies will want you.

Good luck!

But you weren’t a founder and could get ignored or fired anytime. Been there done that, required a therapy session to even realize the fact. It’s easy to fall into this “we” trap. There’s no “we”.

I was transparent about my feelings, I got a call from my direct manager (one of the founders) and was fired. <skim>. They always said that it was ok to be transparent about my feelings, but it actually got me fired

Time to learn a lesson. Only be transparent about feelings which you think will get you into a better position (\1). You may have thought you’re something like a child of this company, but you are not. It isn’t a family, and they’re not your friends, though it’s so nice to think about it that way.

how to avoid burning bridges

Avoid contact for half a year or so (avoid blocks too). You may have left an impression, they may have left it too, but it will fade away eventually. Take your time to realize what you missed and imagined. And if you’d be still interested in them (may be not), contact with an explanation/reintroduction that statisfies \1.

Unfortunately, it's just business, it's just the way companies work. It's shitty that your manager didn't fight for you, but realistically it probably wasn't his decision and he was just doing his job passing on the message.

Try to just put on a brave and happy face, even go and meet up with these people (to pick up your stuff, farewell gathering, whatever). Tell them you understand why it was the right decision, that you have a lot of opportunities outside the company that you are now able to pursue, etc, etc.

Your instinct not to burn bridges is the correct one. You may find yourself needing a reference or paperwork from these people, or they might be next to get fired (a very real possibility if there is new management, with a fondness for firing people) and you could help them with leads at your future company, etc, etc... just remember it's a long game, it's a marathon not a sprint, separate the human element from people doing their job in a company environment, and focus on what happens long after this company goes broke, the new management are ejected, etc.

Never assume you are on the same level as the founders. There is no “family” and the “culture” is really a “cult”.

Never share your true thoughts or feelings. Tell them what they want to hear or whatever makes them feel in power and exert your true power elsewhere. Err, read the 48 Laws of Power and then apply it.

I didn’t burn that bridge but I burnt every one after it if I was crossed. I maintain a shit list of companies and people to take down in the future.

I think you have to let yourself write all the angry emails. Write the angry social media posts explaining the situation. Then don't send them.

From what you've written, they very possibly look fondly on your early involvement. Getting demotivated isn't wrong or bad; we're all human. And even if they are salty, the tech world is huge and potential employers rarely dig deep into your past employment.

The most important thing is not to dwell on this. It has a large potential to sap energy from future endeavors, which would be much more tragic. Instead, use it as motivation to build even better things.

You have every right to feel what you’re feeling.

Actions have consequences. You have to decide if those consequences are worth it (in this case usually not).

With time you’ll move on and not care so much about it, even though right now it stings.

Focus on what you can do to better your situation versus what you can do to feel better about your situation. Lashing out at others doesn’t have a good payoff. Prepping resume and getting an even better paying job with better people is a better FU to the ones who fired you.

All the best

Expect companies to do what is in their best interest at any moment. There is no loyalty, no friendship, and you work your ass off one year, you got paid, the next year it probably counts for little: no effect on promotion, salary or stock options can be expected.

IMO places that make you work your ass off in software will pay poorly and are badly run. Other industries may be different e.g. finance.

My suggestion would be to accept the situation and concentrate on moving forward with your career and life. Allow your past experiences to inform your decisions when faced with comparable scenarios in the future.

I recommend you sleep on this for a week. Your first reaction is almost never the right one.

2. Get out a pen and paper. Write out several physical letters expressing your anger at the relevant parties.

3. Put them in a folder to read next week and decide if you want to send.

You don't have to burn bridges at all. Just because no one reached out to you doesn't mean anything. Life goes on. They are still working their jobs, they are still doing what they have to do, and that's all there is to it. Unfortunately, out of sight, out of mind, they aren't thinking of you. And they aren't required to do so. But to make sure you justify your being there, list it all on your resume.

I took a company outside the United States from a small local company to a global company starting at just around 3% of the North America market share and I left when it was at around 22%. I'd say that's pretty damn good. After they hired me with a generous salary for part-time work, I would offer them suggestions and work closely with them to tell them exactly what they needed to implement to be better, and while it took a while, 90% of my suggestions were implemented.

Just to iterate my own story to you. I wasn't the developer nor the founder, but I'd come across a new company pretty early. I was new to cloud computing and still learning while they had years of experience, they were still new to being a new company. I came across their website and their English wasn't good. Their product was semi-broken. I took screenshots of starting from scratch all the way to finish and the product was just broken. To even install it was a lot of work, which I also helped them to turn it into just a few clicks. But at first, I wasn't really interested in their product after it broke and had found another that 'just worked'.

But they were still wanting me to use their product. They had me 'translate' a few pages into better English for them but I got bored and stopped. I sent them a few examples and thought I was done. For about a year, the CEO chatted with me and really wanted me to join their team as they really liked the way I explained how to use their product. Finally, I joined and first started working on blog posts before they switched me over working with their team on creating a user-friendly knowledgebase.

I'd also had a hand in a lot of suggestions for development and the way they were going. I had built my own web hosting service with another product but met the CEO in Canada, where I showed him everything. From there, they grabbed all my ideas and implemented them into their own program. I was then invited to their country of Malaysia, where I got to meet everyone, just before COVID-19 hit.

After I flew home, I had a better understanding of my role in their company, and we worked for years together. Their product was becoming very solid, stable, and everything anyone could ever want in server management software. IMO, they were even better than CPanel. Eventually, however, after almost 4 years of working for them, I had wrapped up a lot of their knowledgebase, and my workload was becoming less and less, and they started having me train their interns and load them up with knowledge about the software, before they eventually let me go. I wanted to stay. I was doing everything and anything to justify my paycheck, but ultimately, we had accomplished the main goals they wanted me to do for them and there was nothing more I could do.

While I was sad, there were really no hard feelings. And looking back at my accomplishments with them -- from a product that barely worked to a full-blown in-demand service that went from catering to the Asia-only (Malaysia and Indonesia) market to the entire world... at least my side of the globe at 22% market share, I can only be grateful they gave me such an opportunity to work with them on their product. I learned a lot about cloud computing, about them, and enjoyed working with them even if we no longer speak. They are still the same people I worked with and they are all a great team.

But there is no ill-will. They have an amazing solid product that "just works" out of the box now. They even implemented WordPress which I urged them to do to get more of that market. My job for them is done, my purpose was served. Not only that, I ditched the other service and began using theirs for all of my websites.

Since then, I've been offered a few jobs to help startups write their own knowledgebases and contribute to their SEO. I can't say that I've successfully obtained a full-time job with it, though some freelance work has been great, and it's also helped me with my own business.

That company that I came across in 2017 was RunCloud (https://runcloud.io).