Yep. I got my ass kicked in the playground by a much larger kid. Completely unprovoked. I came home crying, my dad told me to return to the playground and hit him back. I insisted that I couldn't, he's much larger and stronger.
"Get a piece of wood then"
I did. As I approached the playground, I felt ridiculous. This wood still wouldn't do anything. To my surprise, the bully fled the scene, clearly afraid.
This incident has taught me a lot. It wasn't the wood that did it. It was the fact that I came back. He could now easily kick my ass again, wood or not. But I might come back yet again, and what (or who) will I bring next time?
From fearful to being feared. A pure mind play.
I do not believe in the perfect world-to-be where one day we've eradicated all bullies and other bad actors by educating them. Life will test you and learning to stand your ground and retaliate is a skill I wish we didn't need, but most definitely need. Address the problem from both angles at once.
I never really got physically bullied because this was just understood in our house, so I was confident enough with the option to throw down that it didn’t happen.
There was also the fact that my parents spent beyond their means for “good” schools - but I was a tiny kid and otherwise would have made an ideal target.
I think two scuffles overall, both were the first and last time, and one of the bullies became my friend afterwards. No blood was drawn at any point.
Having the confidence to start a fight with a bunch of classmates/teachers watching makes a big difference, they will usually break up the fight.
Man - you grew up in such a sheltered world. The real world is much more cruel for most of us. You might have said you were a "tiny kid" but you were truly never at odds.
I was constantly beat up, physically, until I was 16. It wasn't just by one kid, it was often by multiple. This was even in front of teachers, principles, etc. They watched and did nothing. Other kids watched and did nothing. We don't all get to live in nice communities.
Other kids could pick me up by the neck and choke slam me down into the ground and did so. I wasn't able to do anything about it because I just wasn't that big. If I had done anything to fight against it - I would've been expelled.
It's different when you're a small brown kid in a super racist small town America where your average parent is absentee and on meth half the time.
Don't give advice when you never got into a physical confrontation to begin with. How fucking privileged.
Dude, you had a problem way above and beyond what is being discussed here, and way above and beyond what most boys face. Sorry.
I hope you’ve been able to deal with the trauma, and if not, I sincerely hope you find some peace with the world soon. If you can get into a martial art, that’s the best suggestion I can offer. It will help you heal.
Also, you have to realize that insulting me and dismissing my experience just because you were so badly abused is another kind of bullying. Don’t fall into that trap.
"Get a piece of wood then"
I did. As I approached the playground, I felt ridiculous. This wood still wouldn't do anything. To my surprise, the bully fled the scene, clearly afraid.
This incident has taught me a lot. It wasn't the wood that did it. It was the fact that I came back. He could now easily kick my ass again, wood or not. But I might come back yet again, and what (or who) will I bring next time?
From fearful to being feared. A pure mind play.
I do not believe in the perfect world-to-be where one day we've eradicated all bullies and other bad actors by educating them. Life will test you and learning to stand your ground and retaliate is a skill I wish we didn't need, but most definitely need. Address the problem from both angles at once.