Can someone comment on whether ADHD medication leads to 'loss' of the unfiltered imagination that I have come to associate with my perpetually distracted self ?
A friend on ADHD meds told me that it feels like trading unbridled creativity for stability. He found it to be an essential drug for functioning, but I got a sense that it involved losing something really central to your sense of self. Almost like being made sedated/compliant by force.
I have long dealt with the double edged sword of ADHD (diagnosed at 27, obvious symptoms since early age). I have had my best ideas / 1st author papers during moments of hyperfocus. At the same time, I struggle to do mundane busy-work with any level of reliability and have had bouts of depression tied to ADHD derived perfectionism/procrastination (if you know, you know).
I have yet to make the leap to medication as I have managed to 'hang on' through the different things I have tried in life. I often joke that I will start medication if I get fired. I am grappling with the decision of making the leap over to medication, and if the cons are worth it in any situation that isn't incredibly desperate.
Some perspective here would really help.
edit: Thanks a lot for sharing your personal experiences. It really helps in at least convincing me to give meds a try. I'll set up an appointment .... tomorrow, soon, surely
That has always been my fear and objection. I worshipped my own crazy creative engine. But after decades of failing to complete those awesome ideas, failure to execute, follow through I would suggest that you experiment. It's not some permanent contract.
Currently I take L Tyrosine, CDP Choline, coffee, lionsmane and kava. My focus and ease of attention are amazing, and I've been very productive.
Even if I get diagnosed and get a prescription, I would still take these supplements as they support the core problem: low dopamine, low acetylcholine. Eat well, exercise too.
I'm 24, and started on meds about six months ago. My experience with the double-edged sword sounds similar to your own.
I had the same concerns, but I found them to be unwarranted; there was no 'trade'. For me, it's more like being given access to a dial to control the speed of all the scattered thoughts flying around in my head. I can space out and get distracted just as effectively as I do without meds, but when I need to focus, I can nudge that dial. Focus is an active process, and it's one that I maintain control over.
I recently started Vyvanse, and I don't really notice that much of a difference. I have a slight boost in my mood, I still hyperfocus on things, but I also have slightly more ability to do busy work.
I was only given 1/3 the recommended starting dose though, so it'll likely get increased when I see my doctor again.
I'm 32 and was diagnosed at 11. I received behavior help but no meds.
Until earlier this year, when a variety of factors pushed me to finally try them.
All of a sudden, I could focus on things without having to have all of the stars aligned. I never realized the extent and complication of my self-medication until I tried meds. I don't think I've lost my "sparkle." Instead meds help it come out because my follow-through is so much better.
It took me a few months to find the right med - finally on the right one + dose now, but it took some time, so be prepared to experiment with your doc if you choose to try meds.
It's not the right choice for everyone, but it's definitely been the right choice for me, and it's one I wish I had made a lot sooner.
I used it for a while and it was life changing. I learned a number of lessons about how my mind makes things harder, and since, have been able to for example shop at the grocery store when before it was infeasible.
However, I felt I lost a subtle intuition edge.
When I stopped I was a mess, until I found Chen Style Tai Chi, which somehow mitigated my worst symptoms without any (negative) side effects.
From there, I’ve been able through (simply aging) and deliberate practice of various techniques to make it so ADD is rarely an issue for me anymore.
Diagnosed at 25, started Vyvanse right away. My ADHD is similar to what you describe, and the medication has helped with the mandatory chores of day to day life. If anything it has the effect of feeling that nothing is “too hard” for me and that I am not “too dumb to learn or do X”.
Side effects are light to moderately sever headache if I don’t drink enough water, IBM, high blood pressure and a pinch of insomnia.
> If anything it has the effect of feeling that nothing is “too hard” for me and that I am not “too dumb to learn or do X”.
This is a good way to put it. Prior to starting medication (vyvanse specifically, although I tried concerta) initiating a task or trying to learn something was, most of the time, "too hard" so I spun my wheels doing random stuff and occasionally doing just enough work to keep myself employed. Now, nothing is "too hard" because it's possible for me to get over the activation barrier and start doing the thing.
> A friend on ADHD meds told me that it feels like trading unbridled creativity for stability
As someone who has been diagnosed as an adult and been on meds for a few years I could not agree more.
I recommend trying treatment though, I can't see any downsides if it is an option for you. Highly likely there will be clear physiological side effects, but nothing to be scared about.
I still feel as creative as my normal self, but I definitely feel less "in the clouds" in general, and that's a marked improvement. There's some feeling of being serious when I have to (i.e. home alone writing code), while previously my emotional state was always in foreground distracting me.
The lightning storm of thoughts disappears with proper ADHD treatment, but I think the focus/attention allows me to be more creative/productive, not less.
A friend on ADHD meds told me that it feels like trading unbridled creativity for stability. He found it to be an essential drug for functioning, but I got a sense that it involved losing something really central to your sense of self. Almost like being made sedated/compliant by force.
I have long dealt with the double edged sword of ADHD (diagnosed at 27, obvious symptoms since early age). I have had my best ideas / 1st author papers during moments of hyperfocus. At the same time, I struggle to do mundane busy-work with any level of reliability and have had bouts of depression tied to ADHD derived perfectionism/procrastination (if you know, you know).
I have yet to make the leap to medication as I have managed to 'hang on' through the different things I have tried in life. I often joke that I will start medication if I get fired. I am grappling with the decision of making the leap over to medication, and if the cons are worth it in any situation that isn't incredibly desperate.
Some perspective here would really help.
edit: Thanks a lot for sharing your personal experiences. It really helps in at least convincing me to give meds a try. I'll set up an appointment .... tomorrow, soon, surely