I lived most of my life estranged from my father due to issues I won't get into here. When I was 32 though we finally got to know each other more as adult friends than as father/son. As much as I never saw any reason to get to know him before hand, I thoroughly enjoyed the few years we had to reconnect before he passed away 3 years back. It makes me somewhat sad that Jobs never took that opportunity. Not saying it would have turned out the same but it's disappointing it was never tried. I know I was surprised that despite the fact we were polar opposites (lumberjack, software developer) we still found a lot in common. Made me think there might be a little something to that 'nature' thing after all.
Well, Jobs' children are still alive. I can't believe they too would be so mad at their grandfather that they wouldn't want to meet him. He should wait till things calm down and then knock on a door in Cupertino.
One point Jobs' father made was that he was surprised Steve didn't contact him to find out information about his family's medical history. I was adopted, too. I never had any inclination to track down my birth parents (not out of anger or anything, it's just something that's never interested me). Now that I have a flock of kids, however, my wife and adoptive mother are pushing me to track them down so I can learn about my bloodline's medical history.
Sure, ok, I guess if they want to hate/ignore him for eternity that's their right. But he seems like an old man with some remorse and a broken heart. Maybe he's actually a villain who really wronged their biological grandmother -- who knows. But total estrangement seems extreme.
Anyway, if I were him I'd make the trek to Cupertino.
Having never given up a child for adoption nor being adopted myself I certainly cannot agree or disagree with you categorically. However my contact with those how have been involved in such things has shown me that interest and involvement varies greatly depending on the people and what experiences they had.
edit what i replied to:
Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs.
Hope quoting a deleted message isn't against the rules, I didn't post the username as it appears they regret something about the post and deleted as is their right.
and for what its worth, Jobs did hire a personal investigator in the 80s to find his mother. That is how him and his sister originally met, if memory serves. It is most likely a personal matter that made him not want to contact his father.
It's odd though since the article seems to read as if Steve's mother was pressured to abandon him by her father but Steve's biological father didn't have a say in it.
Only later after the divorce they described Mr. Jandali as distant but that's no surprise after a divorce.
Yeah there's definitely more to the story, and many sides of it... but I guess all that is ancient history and Jobs took it to its grave. No use in them arguing about it after he's gone. Real life doesn't wrap up like in the movies :-/
The article also says that his father abandoned his other children. Give Jobs' friendship with his sister and mother, I can see how that would make him not want to have a relationship.
Their is plenty of research that shows your genes have as much, or more to do with your success later in life then your parents. This is especially true as long as your parents meet the minimum standard of raising you.
Edit was the post I was replying to:
"Considering he gave him up for adoption not sure why he would want to meet with him once he grew up. He is no more relevant than a stranger wanting to meet Jobs. And calling him his child is an insult to the parents that raised Steve Jobs."
There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments.
Steve's environment in this case was provided by his adoptive parents. The fact that they were willing to spend all their savings for Steve to go to a very expensive college tell us a lot about the type of environment that they wanted for their kid.
We will never know but I wonder if we would be talking about Jobs today had he not been raised by his adoptive parents.
> There is plenty of research that shows that your environment has as much, or more to do with your success than your genes. Just look at kids in bad environments.
That shows the effects that really poor environments have on children. I believe I have read the after a certain minimum level of care is reached the effects of childhood upbringing greatly diminish (ie. piling on those childhood activities is unlikely to result in long term gains vs. children who don't have them).
I've read that the unique interactions that parents have with their kids shape them profoundly throughout life all the way to adulthood and beyond. Their parents are their first role models and a lot of what will shape them into adults is learned from them. As long as your genes do not give you any learning disabilities and beyond a minimum level of intelligence your environment is more important than your genes. For one thing, he would never have met Woz. A genius whom designed the first Apple computer.
Imagine that Steve Jobs had been put into a different family in a different State, Province, Country and that the environment was good. i.e. Loved by his parents and received a good education. Would jobs have turned out the same? Would he be the founder of a multibillion dollar company? You seem to imply that the answer is yes, I've read plenty of literature that says no since the daily interactions in your environment have a great influence into what you become.
We are the sum of our experiences.
Finally, we could test if the genetic make up of Steve Jobs would make that much of a difference. Clone 100, or better yet, 1000 steve jobs, raise them, and see what happens.
This article doesn't go into the reasons for which Steve Jobs was given up for adoption. His biological father reportedly said, "I honestly do not know, to this day, if Steve is aware of the fact that had it been my choice, I would have loved to keep him." Steve Jobs is claimed by Syrians as his own, and there are suggestions that the father of his mother forced him to be adopted out of Islamophobia or anti-Semitism.
His mother was an unwed woman in the 50s having a baby. That just wasn't culturally accepted back then. It's not surprising she left the Midwest to have the baby and then put it up for adoption.
Of course they are, but you know very well that the word 'anti-semitism' refers solely to Jews.
If you can get everyone to switch over to 'Judeophobia', fine by me, but until then you'll have to accept that the meaning of words sometimes differs from their literal parts.
That's very interesting and sad. Poignant, there are a lot of rock stars and similarly driven people who seem to be striving against feelings of rejection from their parents. Not that adopted people have really been rejected, in my inexperienced analysis, but I've known a few who feel that way.
Another major immigration success story, too! From the Middle East no less.
Sorry, I'm a cinic, but I bet most people would "regret" such an opportunity with hindsight...
M: "I'm pregnant."
F: "I'm getting the hell out of Dodge!"
M: "I have it on authority that this baby is gonna be a multi-billionaire."
F: "Well, I guess I might stick around after all."
