> Why do they have to?

Wow, I think you really misunderstood me. I'm not saying anyone has to do anything, I just said it's really inspiring to see people that are passionate, and are driven and motivated about something. And I want people like that in my life.

I'm not saying I want an Elon Musk for a partner, I'm saying it's inspiring, and I'm drawn to people that actually have a purpose and a reason to get out of bed, and they're striving for something. Maybe it's take a month off to ski tour around Mt. Logan this spring. Maybe it's sail around the Northwest passage, or maybe it's learning a new language. Maybe it's getting up early every day to do Yoga.

Anything, really.

I'm just saying I feel like a lot of people these days have nothing that they're striving for. They just go to work, and go home, and aren't even particularly happy about it. If you asked them what the point is they don't even have an answer. If you ask them what they will have achieved in 5 or 10 years, they have nothing. They're not even trying to do anything.

> Especially at times when I'm wound so tight I feel like I could pop.

It's a mistake to think that to be driven and passionate and motivated about something also means you have to be wound tightly. I've never spent time with anyone that is wound tightly, and I can't imagine how difficult that would be.

EDIT: Replying to your comment lower down - I absolutely DO NOT ever ask anyone what their plan to change the world is, and I never said anything like that above. I ask them what they're passionate about, and what they're striving towards. That doesn't have to be change the world.

> Why do they have to?

Not speaking about (or judging!) anyone individually, but because if none of us did, we'd still be living in caves. Or, more likely, be extinct.

The reason all of us are having this conversation now is because many people before us had purpose and built something

The question posed was why do they Have to? Not why Should they.

Of course we need people driven to move society forward. But there is a stigma in modern society it seems around people who are perfectly happy being who they are and not "striving to be great". And that's ridiculous.

The previous poster asks all his potential dates, with what seems to be a fairly heavy helping of disdain for the "wrong answer", what their plan to change the world is.

Why does it matter? You go change the world. Let your spouse or your friends or your colleagues be content with not changing the world and just be happy living in it.

I'm not saying this is wrong or right, but perhaps some people feel everyone has a duty to do something meaningful to push society forward, otherwise they are essentially free-riding on everyone else's sacrifices.

And that something may very well be as broad a goal as "do your very best, everyday".

Sure, you can't force people to see the world through that same lens, but you can certainly pick partners based on traits which you admire, ambition / grit presumably being one of such traits.

Why are you dictating what other people should look for in a partner?

I'm not. I'm just judging him for doing so. Which is wrong. I shouldn't have phrased it like that. I guess that stigma in society around people who are perfectly happy being happy and don't feel the need to "be great" is sensitive to me because my wife constantly receives a lot of crap for it.

So you be you, previous poster. Just don't look down on others who don't want to change the world.