The problem is that economic reality doesn't allow for the market to clear for such product.

In other words: you're not willing to pay enough for such a feature to make anyone capable of building it make it for you.

There just aren't enough people like you to support self-hosted $4/month product and you're not willing to spend $2000/month for self-hosted version.

So your options are not using the product at all or using hosted, incredibly cheap, version.