Growing up I used to go to friends' houses all the time unannounced. Thought nothing of it. When I came to the U.S. (grew up in Panama) and stopped by a friend's house unannounced he was upset and didn't let me in. It seems like all encounters with friends have to be planned. There's little spontaneity. My friend's kids all have planned activities too. No one plays in the streets. Kids can't go out without adult supervision or even ride a bike to a friend's house. It's weird. It's like people have forgotten that relationships are what make us human.
I think this is a class-driven norm. I grew up in a poor neighborhood and dropping by unannounced was the norm. If you called beforehand, it was likely just to make sure your pal was even home.
Overall, I think most trappings of etiquette fade away as you climb down the socioeconomic ladder (I think rich folk have a lot to learn from poor here, fwiw).
> I grew up in a poor neighborhood and dropping by unannounced was the norm.
Same and I think you're onto something, but my childhood predated mobile phones.
I've watched my nephew, who's from a fairly affluent family, call out to his friend who lives next door to come play. They'll chat to each other over the fence and then negotiate with their parents on where they can go play. Neither have mobile phones and I doubt either have used a landline (or have one) so yelling over the fence or knocking on the door seems like the most straightforward approach.
I think phones were the tipping point which changed behaviours - from most people being fairly OK with unannounced or very loosely planned visits (I'll see you Wednesday! == 7:30pm, Wednesday) to requiring a heads up in the form of a call or instant message.
I've never heard of this happening before. I'm not saying it's not common, just that you shouldn't assume it's a cultural thing. Did it happen more than once? Kids can be weird. Maybe he was just playing with some toys that he didn't want to share that day.
This was when I was an adult. I was best man in his wedding. My experience with Midwesterners indicates this is not uncommon but maybe it’s not normative either.
