Since I came out and flatly said I see this as a serious case of a lack of good parenting, I'll satisfy your curiosity one step: I'm a parent.
Furthermore everything I know about parenting says that the people who would have tried laying down the law from day one would have been extremely likely to end up with lots more conflict and a worse outcome.
There is a wide gamut of parenting behavior between "laying down the law" and just letting your kid do whatever they like without any monitoring or guidance. Neither approach is good - you need to work out a middle way that gives your child a wide scope for autonomy but with defined boundaries that allow you to notice and correct/repair/talk about unreasonable behavior.
Letting a 9 year old have unfettered access to hardcore porn and late night text room conversations is severely towards one end of that gamut.
Letting a 9 year old have unfettered access to hardcore porn and late night text room conversations is severely towards one end of that gamut.
If you think that he was granted that access at 9, or that he was granted access lightly, you didn't read the story very carefully. Go back and search for the comment near the end from Alex' father for some more context.
Now refresh your mind as to the effects of testosterone. It is the chemical that makes previously complacent boys seek out sexual behavior, assert their own identity, challenge authority, and attempt to establish themselves higher in whatever dominance hierarchies they find themselves in.
Sure, chronologically he might have been 11. But biologically he was more like 16. With all the conflicts and behaviors that go with that. (How many of us would like to be reminded of the stupid things we did at 16? I sure wouldn't...) How big a set of fights do you want? Because his brain chemistry is prepping him to give them to you.
My attitude is that childhood is where we do our best to lay a foundation. Puberty is where we have to cross our fingers and hope that we did a good enough job. And adulthood is where we hope to find validation that we did OK.
I don't expect to face those challenges that young or that severely with my children. But in this case their son's accelerated pace has already got him to adulthood. And the results seem pretty good. It seems likely that my standard for parenting is different than yours. But by my standards if the kid winds up capable, high functioning, healthy, and thankful for his parents, then you succeeded.
"My attitude is that childhood is where we do our best to lay a foundation. Puberty is where we have to cross our fingers and hope that we did a good enough job."
That is precisely the problem with early puberty. You lose multiple years of the childhood necessary to lay the foundation for the onset of puberty.
Furthermore everything I know about parenting says that the people who would have tried laying down the law from day one would have been extremely likely to end up with lots more conflict and a worse outcome.
There is a wide gamut of parenting behavior between "laying down the law" and just letting your kid do whatever they like without any monitoring or guidance. Neither approach is good - you need to work out a middle way that gives your child a wide scope for autonomy but with defined boundaries that allow you to notice and correct/repair/talk about unreasonable behavior.
Letting a 9 year old have unfettered access to hardcore porn and late night text room conversations is severely towards one end of that gamut.