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Love this. Exactly the reason I write now


100% this. Started out with two families buying houses near each other in a family centric LA neighborhood (Eagle Rock). Then it expanded to 3 --> 4 --> 5 all within walking distance. We all have similar aged children. It's magic. We watch each others kids, do frequent backyard/park/sleepover playdates, and help w dropoff/pickup. It makes parenting SO MUCH EASIER. I often joke that I'm not a real parent bc we have so much help. Living closer meant compromising on other decisions (ideal house/commute/etc), but proximity to friends has more than outweighed the cons. One family was living near the beach and loved it, but decided it was more impt to live near us then right on the coast.

We opt in and out as much as we'd like. It's beautiful having options, mostly for our kids, who are really thriving by having easy access to playmates. So much better than having to "blind date" other couples and their kids from daycare/activities/etc.

The hardest part is starting. It doesn't have to be a huge commune initiative. Pick one friend who has a similar lifestyle and settle down in a neighborhood withing walking distance and take it from there. Think most important time to do it is when you become a new parent, when your kids and you will want companionship but won't have the time (nor energy) to build new relationships.


I would bet having that many friends, friends who are married, and who want kids, and have sufficient funds/income to afford a home in SoCal puts you in a rarefied portion of society.


It does, we're in our 40s now, but all priveleged to have good careers that enabled us to make this choice.


Turns out that humans have been right for the last 100.000 years and it takes a village to raise a kid.


Smart practices! Will also greatly benefit the children in the long run, I'm sure. As a non-north-american it's funny that you call it a "commune" :)


Ha yeah, extreme, but speaks to how isolated many Americans are


How are the schools though? Will the kids in your commune go through LAUSD together?


Good, choose this neighborhood for the public schools and "suburbia light" vibe, eg proximity to target but also walkable to nice coffee shops / restaurants / local things.


Yes. Took just over a year off after a death in the family to travel. Saved up with my partner so we wouldn't have to work while on the road. Kept our adventures frugal and did nothing but adventure and decompress initially. Then settled back in the US and worked on a startup idea for four months. Didn't go anywhere, but I learned a lot, and my experiences and prototype helped me land my next gig (@Netflix).

Had nerves interviewing at first but eventually settled into a groove. Will it be harder than interviewing when you're currently employed? Yes, but a lot of it will be in your head. One of the most rewarding experiences of my life and so happy I did it


Based on our conversations, I know that you have a strong focus on family, enjoy outdoor activities, and have thoughtful approaches to financial planning and life balance. I also notice that you pay close attention to creating memorable experiences, both for your kids and for your family as a whole.

You’re mindful of planning for the long-term, whether that’s through investments, retirement, or even making sure vacations are well-suited to your family’s needs. You seem to enjoy blending fun with responsibility, ensuring that your decisions are both practical and fulfilling.

Is there anything about this that surprises you?


I'm sorry for your loss OP.

We had premature twins who both stayed in the NICU for around three months. Our total hospital bills came out to just under five million dollars. Fortunately we also had great insurance and received great care.

We fought with the insurance/hospital/vendors for over a year and was on the phone with them every single week for hours to get the covered procedures included. An annoyance, but we were able to navigate it. Our twins are thriving today.

Other families were not so lucky. We watched under or uninsured parents have to make decisions between the health of their sick children and their own financial livelihood. As educated privileged workers, the system worked for us. But it fails many. There has got to be a better way


That's exactly who I am advocating for, not for myself, my wife, child, family were all loved and taken care of, which isn't the case for some children.

My wife and I walked by ICU beds daily that had children just starring at the ceiling, during the peak of their development, they have nothing/no one (except the love of hospital staff), for whatever reason, either in the care of the state, of their parents are at work to afford their child's ICU stay. We learnt we couldn't judge.


The what?


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